How to help your kids adjust after a divorce

When my parents decided to divorce, I was 19 years old and a sophomore in college. Fortunately, because I was 19, I was able to cope (mostly). I was able to understand and adjust accordingly. I also…

独家优惠奖金 100% 高达 1 BTC + 180 免费旋转

Who Am I

Inspired by Bhagvad Gita this is an exercise to search oneself, myself. Let’s get some terms clarified.

Who are the Deities? They are the virtuous impulses within us that enable us to experience sublimity or one might call it the supreme God. On the flip side, we also contain a collection of devilish hoard.

What is a War? There is the physical war with deadly weapons. But as used in this discussion the war is also the inner conflict between the divine and the devilish impulses, and the final consequence is neither win nor loss but the annihilation of both the tendencies.

What is varn or caste-system? It is popularly believed, and India is still filled with this type of thought process, that a person belongs to one of the four castes by birth — Brahman, Royalty, Businessmen, and the downtrodden or kshudra. The caste system ordained who got to worship the Gods and who would get the blessings. That simplified thought process was promulgated by smaller minds to oppress a whole segment of people. If it is to represent who had the right to worship and receive blessings, then a human being can go through all the four stages in a given day given their human condition and not due to their birth. A human being born in royalty can go through self-degradation due to their devilish hoard and become a kshudra who is considered not ready to receive the blessings. The same human being born in royalty can ascend to becoming a Brahman or a Buddha. Buddha being the state where all the vices are gone, so are the virtues and gods, and blessings itself become irrelevant. So, varn is the self-degradation or ascension along the four stages of the ordained mode of worship. Caste-system as is traditionally believed to be by birth is indeed a lower and higher state of the same worshiper.

As is popularly understood in the Hindu mythology, Gita is not about an external physical war with deadly weapons, where the winnings and the losses are never permanent. Isn’t the same true about life’s joys and sorrows? Buddha’s search was for getting rid of sorrows, and finding that one thing that stays constant. But, is there such a thing? Is that what one might call the soul or sublime God? One feels that permanence at different times, but it’s hard to name that feeling. Gita is about transcending the ephemeral clashes and conflicts within each of us everyday. The daily struggles of life. Now, where is the war happening? The battleground for this war, Kurukshetr, is our self, our body. Our body repeatedly goes through the cycle of birth, life’s joys followed by the sorrows and finally death on this battleground, Kurukshetr. One gets eventually tired of these cycles, just like Buddha got tired, and embarks on Gyan Yog with meditation and worship to reach their sublime Dharm. Kurukshetr essentially then becomes Dharmkshetr.

Gita is about inner clashes, but the poetic metaphors have an extremely important role to play. Metaphors in the poetry let’s the message interpretation be left up to the Yogi on their individual path of Gyan Yog. The destination stays the same for all of us, but the pace and the path is left upto the seeker. There essentially is no wrong pace.

The story starts with Pandu, the good king and image of virtue. He marries Kunti, dutiful wife. Both represent the nascent human condition with virtues and duties, a blind obligation before the awakening. Fake it until one makes it. Duties at this stage do not automatically mean anything worthwhile because there is a lack of awareness.

Karn is Kunti’s illegitimate son prior to her marriage with Pandu, and hence abandoned. Karn represents the blind traditions, rites and ceremonies. Karn is never treated as royalty, and, thus, holds grudges against Kunti and her family. As time progresses Pandu has 5 sons with his two wives, Kunti and Madri. The 5 sons are the Pandav, and they collectively represent the divine nature, and Karn the formidable enemy hostile to the divine nature. Yudishthir represents dharm or righteousness, Arjun is the image of affectionate devotion, Bheem is like a profound sentiment, Nakul represents regulated life and Sahdev adheres to the truth.

Dhitrashtr, Pandu’s elder brother, is blind and, hence, deemed incapable of his claim to the kingdom by birth. Dhitrashtr represents the ignorance despite awareness of truth. His wife is Gandhari, who chooses to wear a blindfold to follow in the footsteps of he husband. She chooses ignorance just like her husband. They have not 5 but 100 sons, the Kaurav, the devilish hoard, all for the claiming of the kingdom. The eldest son is Duryodhan, the favorite son with good pair of healthy eyes. He represents excessive infatuation, shown by his blind parents, all out of grudge. That is indeed how negative energy feeds devilish tendencies. The epic is centered around Duryodhan’s claim for the throne and the tortures on the Pandav. Kaurav are larger in number with a formidable army, just like how evil seems overwhelming. But they are collection of vices. Pandav happily face exile, getting burnt down in a castle, utter poverty, public humiliation of their wife Draupadi, etc. etc. What works in favor of Pandav is their virtues.

After a long tortuous journey it has come to this epic battle between Pandav and Kaurav, Kurushektr. Gita on the surface is a war between bad actors and good actors, the resulting dilemma about the physical war and violence against the kin, but ultimately it is about self-realization, duties and Dharm. Krishn, the narrator of Gita represents the sage teacher guiding the seeker Arjun. On the one hand is Duryodhan, who is feeding on negative energies tempted by his nature as the ultimate reality to claim the kingdom and thus effects his degradation to the births of lower forms. Duryodhan devolves into becoming a Kshudra, the lowest form of human state which is not ready to receive any blessings from god. On the other hand is Arjun, who is feeding on positive virtuous energies. He questions the need for war, the resulting violence, winning, losing, etc. When the seeker takes refuge in a guide, a concerned mentor, like Krishn there is a gradual ascent of virtuous impulses and defeating of the devilish hoard. Krishn is closest friend of Arjun and that is what makes Gita so accessible, because only a friend can access your deeper psyche to provide the right realignment.

But, destroying the vices is not the end of the journey. There is still yet the final ultimate destination. As the evil impulses are destroyed one realizes that there is no need for even the divine pious impulses. That is the Nirvana state. The war destroys the Kaurav but it also destroys the Pandav, as is the nature of war. What remains is an accomplished sage advice, Gita, willing to guide the lesser fortunate. That final state is the Buddha state of being with no attachments whatsoever, even for god. None of this can be rushed. Everyone is already on the path of Gyan Yog and will reach there at their own pace.

So, that is the setup. We are now on the battlefield. On one side are the mighty Kaurav and on the other side the righteous heirs, the Pandav. Lets peek into the story relayed in Gita. It deals with the dilemma between the virtues and vices, attachment and repulsion, and how one follows the Dharm, fights, wins and, finally, transcends them.

Here the setup is that a teacher is sitting with students and narrating the events.

Dhrithrashtr: O Sanjay, what is happening on the battlefield? What did my son do? What did Pandu’s sons do?

Student: I see what you mean by how infatuated he is with his son. But, who is Sanjay?

Teacher: Dhitrashtr is not just physically in darkness due to blindness, but his mind is also in darkness. He chooses that mental state out of his blind love for his son and his grudge about the throne. He is focused on the Kaurav, despite knowing about their ungodly schemes. Who is Sanjay? Dhithrashtr hears and sees through Sanjay. Sanjay with a clinical accuracy and zero judgement relays what he sees. Imagine his self-control to not judge his master’s son.

Student: Is this an historically accurate event? Aren’t archaeologists researching to locate the Kurukshetr?

Teacher: True. History of the world is crowded with wars, and the victors have sought in vain for a permanent conquest. These wars were nothing more than retribution. The most permanent victory is transcending this retribution, subduing matter and realizing that this physical body is a battlefield itself. The poet of Gita has suggested, through Krishn, that one who conquers the godly and ungodly forces within this body grows spiritual dexterity to understand the essence of life itself. Then there is no defeat and no shackles of life nor death. Now, human mind is skillful in blinding itself from this known reality. That is Dhitrashtr, and in essence our human condition too. His son, Duryodhan, represents the excessive worldly attachments that tempts one away from seeking spirituality. Duryodhan is a result of his parent’s infatuation. So, lets see what Sanjay is seeing on the battlefield.

Sanjay: At this time, King Duryodhan has taken a took at the Pandav army and has approached his teacher Dron.

Duryodhan: It looks like Pandav army is being marshaled in battle formation by your wise pupil, Dhristdyumn, the son of Drupad.

Student: Who is Drupad and tell us about his son?

Teacher: The Pandav due to their righteous intentions have managed to collect the best steadfast minds. Drupad and his son Dhristdyumn is one of them. And we will see more of these on the side of the Pandav. That is how it is in life too. Keep your intentions clean and their are chances that right help will come about. When intentions are bad you will also be able to gather help, but it will only devolve into destruction. Right impulses always lead to selfless activity without ego. Who else is on the Pandav’s side?

Duryodhan: In the Pandav army are the valiant archers, Yuyudhan, Virat and Drupad himself, alongside Arjun and Bheem. Dhristketu, Chekitan, the king of Kashi, Purujeet, Kuntibhoj, Shaiby, all unparalled among men are present too. The valorous Yudhmanyu, mighty Uttmauja, Saubhdra and Draupadi’s five sons, all great warriors.

Student: Does Duryodhan have respect for his enemy side?

Teacher: All the listed names are known to traverse the path spiritual fulfillment with perfect skill. This happens in real life too that the friends you surround yourself with represents the righteousness of your goals in your life. Duryodhan identifies the folks that have joined the Pandav army who have reached divine excellence. He himself is primarily driven by his impulses. But it so happens that one who is in their darkness and ignorance can always see the treasures of divinity clearly, but are also alien to them all. If this was an actual war then Duryodhan would have boasted about his army too, but he only lists few on his side, for he knows deep down that they have to be conquered and are destructible.

Duryodhan: We have many eminent warriors among us too. You yourself, my commander-in-chief, the twice-born Dron. Then there is Bheeshm and Karn. We also have Kripachary. We have your son Ashwathama. We have Vikarn and Saumdutti. And many other skilled warriors willing to forsake their lives for my sake.

Student: What are the vices of these supporters of the Kaurav?

Teacher: Dron represents dual conduct. He takes sides rather than being impartial. Dron is also the teacher of Arjun, the best archer. But he chooses to support Duryodhan in this war. Bheeshm is the grandsire the granddad to Pandu and Dhitrastr. He represents delusion. Delusion never dies. And so does Bheeshm who lies on a bed of arrows and continues to breathe while the whole army is perished. He has the divine power of dying at his own wish, but that is also his curse. Hence the delusion. Karn represents the hurdle in the path of reaching ones Self. Kripachary represents the act of compassion. Why is that a vice? Because compassion before self-realization will be misplaced and can become a destructive force. Ashwathama, son of Dron, represents inordinate attachment or fixation. Dron being the well known revered teacher in the mastery of arms, it was known that he couldn’t be killed until he had arms in his hands. So Krishn devices a ruse. Dron was too attached with his only son Ashwathama. Krishn advices to Bheem that he kill the elephant named Ashwathama and announce that Ashwathama is killed. Upon getting this bad news Dron drops his arms thinking its his son. Bheem then beheads Dron. This destruction is the result of too much fixation and attachment. His son Ashwathama is also blessed with longevity and immortality. That represents how fixation stays with us as an obstacle until the last moment. Vikarn represents indecision or scattered mind or the allures of life in the path of spiritual practice. One of the allures can be the final result, win or loss, itself. That will stray us from the path. The essence of Gita is that one should never bother about the final result and one should only focus on the action. Saumdutti represents confusion. In the elevated spiritual state one will be admired as a great soul and that becomes their downfall. Acclaim and admiration can result in self-importance and one will go astray. These three types of deformations, fixation, allures and admiration, that can creep in on ones path, and they all represent the outward flowing energies of life. Duryodhan mentions how all these warriors are resolved to fight at the cost of their lives for his sake. The ego focuses everything on himself.

Duryodhan: Our army defended by Bheeshm is inconquerable and their army defended by Bheem will be vanquished. So, all of you should doubtlessly protect Bheeshm.

Student: Why is Bheeshm so important?

Teacher: Bheeshm is blessed with the death by wish, so he can decide when he dies. So, he has lived multiple generations with an oath to serve the dynasty at any cost, and now he serves the Kaurav. It is because of this power over death that Kaurav army is instructed to protect Bheeshm rather than fight Pandav. Duryodhan believes Kaurav cannot be defeated if Bheeshm is safe and alive. But, what kind of defender is Bheeshm if he cannot even defend himself? He has conquered death. He has the unique power to desire when to die, yet he lives on. Can one easily desire to die, when desires never end and delusions never end? Bheeshm, hence, represents delusion. The Kaurav represent the unrighteous impulses, which always protect the delusion.

Student: Is Bheem the leader of the Pandav army?

Dhithrashtra: Now, what is happening?

Sanjay: To Duryodhan’s delight the mighty grandsire Bheeshm has blown the conch with lion-like roar. That is followed by drums and trumpets. I see a chariot being driven by Krishn and Arjun riding in the back. Krishn has now blown his celestial conch. Bheem is blowing his Paundr conch. Yudhishtr, Nakul, Sahadev are blowing their conches as well. Then I can see that Kashiraj, Shikhandi, Dhristdyumn, Virat, Satyaki, Drupad, Abhimanyu, all blew their own conches. This loud tumult peiced the hearts of Kaurav.

Student: Why does Bheeshm’s conch sound like a lion and Krishn’s sound celestial?

Teacher: Lion-like because it is to instill fear. The Kaurav have no other message than fear, intoxicated with false sense of success. Fear-mongering messages offend and demean the human soul rendering the bonds between those humans even stronger. A false sense of security. On the other hand is the celestial conch which is very auspicious and goes beyond the world of mortals and gods, both being afflicted by the fear of birth and death.

Student: What is the Paundr conch?

Teacher: Paundr conch represents sentiment. Bheem is considered asa a large-hearted and a very strong fighter. Heart is where the the sentiments rise. Its like the love one feels for one’s child. Sentiment is fathomless and mighty. Bheem represents that kind of affection and the medium is love. Only in love can one sometimes reach the sublime. Yudhishtr’s conch represents his steady adherence to Dharm, the true essence of one’s duty-bound Karm or action. Nakul represents regulated life style. Sahadev represents adherence to truth, and that is cultivated only via reflection and meditation. All these are the ingredients of any righteous undertaking or even the undertakings that can help one reach better goals or, ultimately, the spiritual emancipation. Beyond this there are still things one cannot perceive. That needs extra help. Lets see if we get that.

Arjun: Krishn, the missiles are about to take off. Please drive me in the middle of the two armies so that I can examine whom I have to fight. I want to see who all have assembled here to fight for pleasing Dhitrashtr’s wicked-minded son.

Krishn: Behold, Arjun, the assembled Kuru. There is Bheeshm, Dron and all the other kings.

Sanjay: Arjun then saw his uncles, granduncles, teachers, brothers, sons, grandsons, friends, well-wishers. Seeing all these kinsmen on both sides he is overwhelmed with great sorrow.

Arjun:

How to help your kids adjust after a divorce

Who Am I

Add a comment

Related posts:

Tips for Kickstarting a Modelling Career

Digital Challenges for the Financial Services Industry

Integrity