How To Speak About Active Participation

The self talk in my head was more like, I want you to…I need you to want me. That was that was my approach. I need you to want me. And now my approach is, I want you, do you want me? Good. You don’t. Next.Tony Ortega

Asking for what you need to have stronger gay relationship is necessary. As gay men we tend to fall into the trauma of not asking for what we need most because it’s been ridiculed by so many.

We’re all looking for connection. Haven’t you wanted to be seen and heard by someone else? For so long you repressed asking for the love and attention of another man because of fear. And fear is the killer of active speech.

You hope against hope that a knight in shining armor is going to come around the corner one day. He’ll jump off of Scruff or Grindr and be more than a moment. So what if that slipper fit like a glove? Princess, If you said more than “I hope he looks like his profile pic” you’re not inviting a healthy relationship into your life.

Unless you’re looking for a fuck buddy. In which case, I hope he looks like his profile pic too. But that doesn’t take away from asking from your FB what you want. Our active participation in relationships that are based in sex are just as important as relationships that are based on an emotional partnership.

Now let’s say you’ve been together for a bit. More than five or ten years have gone by. You grow and change a lot in that amount of time. Life impacts you.

#activeparticipation #OurGayStories #podcast #TonyOrtega

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