The Uncensored Guide to Being a Canadian Muslim Girl

My dear grandmother — God bless this sweet woman — calls me every evening after I get home from work. We have our usual chat — she asks me what I ate for dinner, advises me of what I should be eating instead, and tells me I work too hard. I mean, seems like a pretty basic grandmother — granddaughter conversation, right?

It may seem so. But all this is her way of leading into the ‘important’ stuff. She then asks me if I’ve done my daily 5 prayers, reminds me to dress conservatively and makes me promise I’ll never fall in love with a white boy.

All my life, those were the rules of being a Muslim— along with many others of course. Don’t get me wrong, I am proud of my religion. And I do practice — well, sometimes. But here’s the thing. Its really freakin’ hard being a Canadian Muslim. We live in a society where booty shorts and a crop tops are a thing, drinking is everyone favorite past time and sex is not so taboo.

If you want to survive in a Western society as a young Muslim-raised girl without getting in trouble, here’s how.

If your Instagram page is public, your mom’s friends will find you. I promise you that. There’s always that one stay at home P.I. Aunt who — somehow — gathers your deepest secrets and shares it with a few close friends. Want to see how things spread like wildfire? Post a scandalous photo and sit back for a few minutes. I assure you, it won’t be long until you get a very angry phone call from your mom about something a friend of her friend found.

2. It’s Okay to Lie

Okay, I’m not telling you to become a pathological liar but lets be honest, a little white lie never hurt anyone, am I right? Sometimes your parents innocent hearts can’t handle what you did last weekend, so it’s probably better to leave some details out — for their good. So maybe there were a few boys at your friend’s house party, but no one needs to bring that up.

3. Always Bring a Change of Cloths

Ah, my favorite. Ladies, you don’t need to Spider-man your way to the front door without your dad seeing you in that tube top. Never leave your home in the outfit you’re meant to wear on your night out. Take it with you and…

Related posts:

Ohalo is an archeological site by the Sea of Galilee, its believed to be the first evidence of agriculture activity in our history, some 11,000 years before the generally recognized advent of…

When my parents decided to divorce, I was 19 years old and a sophomore in college. Fortunately, because I was 19, I was able to cope (mostly). I was able to understand and adjust accordingly. I also…

When it comes to a modelling career, it sounds like the ultimate glamour job, but it’s easy to get caught up in the excitement, and in the process forget about the drive and determination it takes to…